Always remember the key
by The Boeshane Babe
Summary: Never get yourself into anything you can't get out of - it saves on the embarrassment. A bit of Janto smut...


**Always remember the key…**

The cog wheel door cranked noisily open and Owen hurried back inside. He was determined that he was going to have a good time and felt that tonight was the night. In his eagerness to get away from work earlier he had unfortunately left his wallet there. Still, no matter, the Hub was roughly en route…

Owen went to his desk and opened the drawer. He smiled slightly on seeing his wallet where he remembered putting it and pocketed it. About to turn back towards the door Owen looked upwards. There was no light on in Jack's office.

"Anyone at home?" Owen asked loudly. Jack was most definitely on duty for the night shift, so where was he?

Owen jogged up the stairs, gave a quick rap on the door and looked inside the office. Empty. He sighed and jogged back down again. Perhaps the cheeky bugger had popped out for a bit? I could do with a bit myself, Owen smiled to himself thinking hopefully of the night ahead. With thoughts of all the gorgeous girls in Cardiff that he could pull, Owen went towards the door. He stopped.

Really it was most unlike jack to leave the place completely unattended. Perhaps he should just have a quick look round just in case?

"Hello?" "Hello?" the word was repeated around the main level of the Hub several times to no avail before Owen headed down towards the archives.

"Come out come out, wherever you are!" Owen sang out loudly.

"Hello?!" Jack's distinct American accent rang out from somewhere below.

"It's me, Owen. Where are you?!" Owen called back.

"Furniture store. Got a bit of a problem!" Jack's voice had a tone that Owen wasn't sure of…a certain hesitancy maybe?

Owen drew his gun and moved almost silently down the next flight of steps and turned to the left. The storeroom was in darkness.

"Jack!" Owen hissed at him.

"A little light might be good," Jack hissed back.

Owen reached a hand round the door to flick the light switch on and nearly dropped the gun in surprise.

Revealed in all their glory was a very naked Ianto Jones sat in the spare examination chair with an equally naked Jack sat on his lap.

"This isn't how it looks…," Jack initially went for a sheepish look then opted for one of his cocky grins.

"Oh my fucking god, I'm scarred for life!" Owen groaned and closed his eyes tight shut for a moment.

"This is exactly how it looks, "Ianto gave a sigh, "You may notice Owen that we are indeed handcuffed to this bloody chair and someone…who shall remain nameless…but might be Jack fucking Harkness hasn't got the key."

Owen was, by now, almost biting his lip to stop himself from laughing.

"Is this some pervy game?" Owen looked at his boss in a rather world-weary way.

"No!" Jack snapped, offended.

"Yes!" snapped Ianto.

"Care to enlighten me so as I can tell Tosh and Gwen all the grubby little details?" Owen had put his gun away and leaned on the door post waiting to be enlightened.

"It was a game of naked hide and seek, "Jack said rather huffily, "I caught him as you see. I thought I'd liven things up a bit by cuffing us to the chair…y'know…so he couldn't get away..."

At this point Jack wiggled his eyebrows and aimed a lascivious wink at Owen.

"Go on," Owen rolled his eyes.

"We...er…entertained ourselves for a bit before Jack remembered that the key was still in his office. Not one of his better ideas," Ianto explained wearily.

"So you've been like that, how long?" Owen smirked.

"Several hours. Really glad that you did decide pop back Owen or we'd still be here on Monday morning…which doesn't bear thinking about," Ianto tried to wriggle slightly, "He's really starting to get heavy, my thighs and arse have gone numb."

"Like that's a bad thing? – Oww!" Jack yelped as Ianto's free hand smacked him, "Hey, I should be the offended one, you called me fat!"

"I said heavy"

"Same thing"

"It's completely different, Jack"

"Fat and heavy are in the same ballpark as far as I'm concerned."

"Boys! Shut it!" Owen barked loudly. Jack and Ianto duly looked slightly contrite, "Now, shall I get the key?"

"Please?" Ianto's face peered round Jack's body, "Should be third drawer down on the left. If you think this is bad, you really don't want to look in the second drawer by accident…that really will scar you for life."

"You're sick, the pair of you," Owen tutted and went upstairs. The key was duly in the drawer where Ianto had said it would be. Owen didn't hurry back and took his time – they'd been there for a few hours, they could wait a few more minutes.

"So, shall I take pictures then?" Owen cheekily waved his phone at them.

"Well, as long as you get my best side," Jack began, almost starting to pose in Ianto's lap.

"Do not even think about it Harkness," a gruff Welsh voice barked from behind him, "Unless you fancy no coffee and no sex for the duration and a severe rationing of Chelsea buns…"

"Tough call, mate," Owen shrugged at Jack.

Jack sighed, "I daren't risk it, Owen."

Owen walked across and swiftly unlocked the handcuffs.

"Thank you, Owen," Ianto rubbed at his wrist once it was free, "There really is no need to mention this to the girls though…"

"What and have them miss out on taking the piss for the next week or so?" Owen grinned evilly at Ianto's obvious discomfort.

Ianto pushed his boss bodily off and gave a groan slightly being able to stand up at last. Just as quickly he then covered his groin area with his hands.

"Nothing to be bashful about there Ianto," Owen winked and then went to the door. He turned back to them, "Right, I'm off for the night. Thanks for the laugh - that got the evening off to a good start. Enjoy your fun and games but don't get yourself into anything you can't get out of as I might not be here next time. Oh especially not that gimp mask, that really could be embarrassing? G'night!"

Jack looked round wide eyed at Ianto. Ianto gulped, looked aghast back at Jack, "He looked..."


End file.
